Avoidance is rarely laziness. It’s usually a reasonable-sounding judgement that the conversation will do more harm than good: it might upset someone, damage the relationship, start a conflict we can’t control, or expose that we’re not sure we’re right.

The problem is that the costs of avoiding a conversation are mostly hidden and delayed, while the discomfort of having it is immediate and obvious. So we consistently overestimate the risk of speaking and underestimate the risk of staying silent.

Cost to the teamOthers notice the issue too. When nothing happens, they conclude either that the behaviour is acceptable or that raising concerns is pointless. Both erode standards.

Cost to the personThey lose the chance to put things right while it’s still small. When feedback finally arrives, it often comes with months of frustration attached, and feels like an ambush.

Cost to youUnresolved issues take up mental space, leak into how you behave, and make the eventual conversation harder. If the issue becomes formal, Acas guidance expects that it was raised informally first.